Thursday, 21 January 2010

Scenes in suspended animation

On the dangers of blending in with other medical students:
Between tutorials I grab a seat at a table with people in my year I loosely know. They kind of ignore me, but then somebody breaks the silence remarking on the impressive size of an orange I’m eating & I take this opportunity to start a conversation:
- Hey guys, you know how when you go to party and you’re the only medic there, people just start showing you their their freaky abnormalities and skin diseases and stuff? Isn’t that weird?
(a slight pause, then a young woman speaks):
- I never go to parties where there are no other medical students.
(Everyone sips their drink. I give up.)
On the dangers of living in the library with your life pushing the lower limits of boring:
Sitting in the library I occasionally check my facebook. My friend recommends a game. I join and get instantly addicted. It’s a superhero role playing game and my character is called Thunderwoman.
When she fights duels the layout looks a bit like Street Fighter. I can’t find any instructions on which buttons to press to make her attach/kick/whatever so I vigorously press any and as many buttons on the keyboard as I can. I keep winning but can’t figure out how. People are giving me looks (it is the library).
P. passes me a small folded piece of paper.
- Can you take this piece of paper, read the instructions and follow them? (a witty reference to the Mini Mental State examination we were practicing earlier)
I open it. It reads “DO SOME WORK”.
I eat it.
I actually put the paper into my mouth, chew and swallow it. I’ve never eaten a piece paper in my life.
P. is baffled. So am I.
Also at this time I realise that my game plays itself out. The battles are just short clips and I don’t need to press anything.
I feel retarded.
I do some more work. But not before signing up to a free trial on in order to receive 260 merit points for which I purchase Thunderwoman a bracelet which gives her +65 to defense. Yeah.
Then I read about heart attacks.


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